He’s Just Not That Into You! (Haasi kukuda shamaz!)

“Oh my gosh, he hasn’t called, texted or “whatsapped” me in 5 days! What could that possibly mean? Maybe he lost his phone and my number along with it? But no, I see he is constantly online on Whatsapp. Maybe he’s busy? Or maybe…maybe….” This is one of my girlfriends, frantically trying to figure out why the guy she has the hots for has not gotten in touch for the past five days. “Maybe he’s shy, maybe he wants me to call him first? What do you think? Should I call him? Whhhhy is he silent?” she shrieks, her voice reaching fever pitch. All the while I’m sitting there rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain. This is a scene I’ve witnessed many a time with many a girlfriend. Hell, once or twice I was even the one on the opposite side of the table. “Has it crossed your mind that maybe he’s just not that into you”? I ask rather bluntly. Her hands stop twisting around and she looks at me, confusion written all over her face like I’ve said something in Mandarin. “Wh-what”? “You heard me,” I say more softly this time, “Maybe he’s just not interested babe”. This is obviously not what my friend had wanted to hear. “But he said he liked me, he said all these really nice things to me. How can he not be into me?” she demands.

If there is one thing I have learnt is to believe what people do rather than what they say. This is especially true of men who are not very good at voicing their feelings. They promise you the moon, the stars and the Victoria Falls but, watch what he does. Of course the normal thing for me to do was to have totally destroyed this guy’s character, called him all sorts of unholy names and threatened to liberate the air in his wheels, just to make my friend feel better. Then I thought what about next time. What if she meets somebody else she likes and he doesn’t feel the same way. What will that do to her self confidence, she may begin to think there is something wrong with her when in fact, he’s just simply not that into her.

At first of course, this was a very foreign concept to me, being the confident young woman I am and thinking the world revolves around me. A guy not interested? In me? Inini? Mina? Moi? Ha! Joke of the year I thought! But after one or two let downs and of course watching the movie that is the title of this article and reading Steve Harvey’s book Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady, it slowly started to become plausible that maybe, just maybe I wasn’t every man’s dream woman (shock, horror!). My pride still flinches at the thought but she’ll get over it. What I would love though, is for my fellow single ladies to stop wasting their time getting their knickers in a twist over someone who simply doesn’t care. The following are obvious signs that he is not interested in making you his woman in any way, shape or form. Do not sit for hours trying to interpret what his actions, or lack of, mean. You are in denial and wasting your time!

He doesn’t communicate
He has your number. In fact, all your numbers. But he doesn’t use them. Ever. Do I even need to explain here? No. It’s not because he is busy. One thing I know for sure is if a man wants a woman, nothing will keep him away. He will find a way to communicate.

Mode of communication
He has your number but only chats to you on whatsapp. This most likely means you are just there for occasional entertainment. If he cared, he would call you and call you often. Especially if he is trying to become your man.

No dates
This is obvious. If a man is interested, he will want to please you and be with you. He will want to spend time with you to show you that he is different from the rest of the males out there. If he makes no effort whatsoever to be with and spend time with you, get a stepping because you mean nothing to him.

You’ve never met his friends (or anyone he knows for that matter!)
If he is interested in making you his woman, he will want to show you off to his friends and subsequently get their opinion of you. If not, he won’t. Simple. You’re most probably his side-piece.

Makes his presence known
A man who wants a woman will make sure he eliminates the competition at any cost. He will call you “babe” in public. He will hold your hand in public. I’m not saying these specific things are a must but he will find a way to make everyone else know his intentions.

 Here’s a short little video for you to watch reiterating what I’ve been saying. Enjoy!

Now, now ladies, don’t all go rushing to off to dump your men just because they didn’t reply a text message within four nanoseconds! These are just pointers for things I’m sure we already know but don’t quite like to acknowledge. I know it’s hard, especially if you have an ego like mine but if a brother is not interested, simply move on and let him be. Men have mastered the art of telling us what we want to hear but always remember, the proof is in what he does, not only what he says!

16 thoughts on “He’s Just Not That Into You! (Haasi kukuda shamaz!)”

  1. Yes, agreed with all the points. If a guy wants to be with you, he’ll do everything in his power to be with you.

  2. Methinks women just love to live in denial…you can see the signs but you choose to ignore them. I hope more women out there get to read this and get with the programme. LOL

  3. Reblogged this on feelingsstation and commented:

  4. I think it's different. Women can sometimes talk to and hang out with a guy who they think is just a friend, meanwhile the guy thinks it's so much more. Actually, I think I will do a lil more research and do a post on that!

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