I am an exceedingly private person. Extremely private. Those who think they know me don’t actually know me. They only know what I choose to allow them to know. I think I can safely say the only person who knows me more than anyone else is my mother and even then I have caught myself several times thinking “Mmmm, you really don’t know me that well do you mummy”. As such, you will never find an extremely personal blog post from me. However, this is where we have a plot twist today. This is going to be the most personal post I have ever put up. The reason for this you will find as you read along. Also, I know I am THE biggest advocate for short blog posts but please bear with me on this one because it’s going to be long!
I attended this customer service training session a few days ago and someone talked about this management training session he had attended and how they did this personality test which he had found quite useful. That reminded me of the post I had done on the 16 Personalities Test about a year ago. I re-read my results for the test and I’m still floored by the absolute accuracy of my test results. The reason why it hit me so hard is that I had been really searching inside myself for the past few years trying to figure out who I was and what I was doing with my life. I was feeling that although I had a good job and money in the bank, I was lacking something. I felt like I had no meaning or purpose. Who was I and what was I supposed to do with my life? I kept praying and asking God to help me because I was just feeling increasingly dejected. Then I went for this work related Communication Skills workshop facilitated by Rachel Nyaradzo Adams and this is where I got know about this test. The funny thing is she didn’t even dwell on it for long. I think she just gave us the URL and asked to take the test if we were more interested in learning more about ourselves. She has no idea how much she helped changed my life 🙂 (By the way, Rachel is absolutely brilliant at what she does. If you or your organisation need training done, she is your person. Click on her name to check out her website).
I took the test two or three times for good measure and each time the results were exactly the same. My personality type is INTJ (-A/-T) or “The Architect”. You should have seen me reading those test results lol. I could not BELIEVE how accurate they were about me and almost every aspect of my life. To me it was like God saying “Hey, you’ve been asking, so here’s something to help you understand yourself better and calm your spirit”. So, let me share the parts that really blew me away with you. The reason why I have decided to share this with you now in more detail than my initial post is that I believe I’m not the only one who was a bit lost and not knowing what I was doing. I hope somebody else who takes this test reaps as much benefit from it as I did 🙂
So, apparently INTJ’s make up only 2% of the world’s population and female INTJ’s only 0.8% of the world’s population. You guys have NO idea how thrilled I was to know this. I’m not weird after all! I just have one of the rarest personality types. Look up the word paradox in the dictionary and you will surely find my picture there! Now I know why I’m most probably one of the most complex people you will ever meet. When it comes to relationships, I have always said to myself that I am a rare find and now I know why!
INTJs are also regularly referred to a “lone wolves” and I’m definitely one of those. I don’t do things just because everyone else is doing it. I absolutely LOATHE crowds and places with too many people. I also love love my own company and I will climb the walls if I don’t regularly get me-time to recharge my batteries.
“People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy”. This is true. The amazingly curious part is spot on. My brain is like this bottomless pit. I always want to know stuff. Anything. Everything.
We are also very, very observant people. My mom is always amazed at how I take in so much information in so little time. We’ll meet someone for a few minutes and afterwards I’ll be like, “Did you see that guy’s big nose? And those long nails? Did you notice how he can’t keep eye contact? Why was his shirt not ironed? Did you notice how his third shirt button was undone? Does that guy have his eyebrows done? That belt doesn’t match the rest of his outfit. Did you see? Did you see? Did you see???” and my mom will just be like “Wazviona nguvai zvese izvozvo?” (When did you notice all that?)
Also, being an introvert, a lot if not all of the people who meet me for the first time think I’m either dull or a snob. If I had a dollar for each time someone has said to me “You know ,when I first met you I thought you were such a snob/bitch but you are really cool” or “I actually did not know you were this clever”, I would be a millionaire! An actual millionaire!
Quick, Imaginative and Strategic Mind. Sometimes, in fact most times it is frustrating when people don’t see things the same way as I do. I love a good challenge and solving complex problems.
Also, under “quick” I have this weird ability to read people very accurately. The whole “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” thing doesn’t work with me. 99% of the time all I need is 5 mins with a person I have never met and I will have them all figured out. Every single time I have pushed aside my initial impression of someone and thought I was, well, judging a book by it’s cover, I have always regretted it. I have now just learned to trust myself.
High Self-Confidence. I honestly believe I can do anything I put my mind to. I really do. I’m always disappointed at how a lot of people just give up on themselves. In my world, nothing is impossible!
Independent and Decisive. I am very decisive. Once I’ve decided on something, that’s it. Mountains will not sway me. Not that I’m usually wrong anyway 😛.
Hard-working and determined. If I believe in something, I will put in blood, sweat and tears. If I want something (or someone😁), I will not rest until I get it. And then it’s on to the next challenge. Unfortunately, I get bored easily.
Jacks-of-all-Trades. This is actually a problem for me. This is going to sound arrogant but whatever. I’m good at so many things it’s actually quite frustrating, even the things I don’t actually like! I’m only one person and I cannot be doing all these things. The problem is I usually end up not following through with anything because I’m trying to do everything at once. I’m working my way through this though and concentrating on my biggest passions more.
Arrogant. “INTJs are perfectly capable of carrying their confidence too far, falsely believing that they’ve resolved all the pertinent issues of a matter and closing themselves off to the opinions of those they believe to be intellectually inferior”. Look, I have to admit. It’s a problem I have and I am trying to more conscious of it. I don’t know if I come across as arrogant (do I?) but I do know I consider a lot of people to be inferior intellectually. I think I roll my eyes and say WTF like a hundred times a day! A lot of the time I feel as though I am this queen sitting on this high throne looking down on all these peasants lol. Ok that’s a tad extreme but like I said, I’m conscious of it now and I am trying to be more accommodating to more people and their views.
Overly analytical. Oh Lorrrrd. This is so me. I over think everything. And I mean everything. I hate having regrets of any kind and I guess this is why I always overthink things and try to make the best decision. I actually think I have OCD because I always want things to be perfect, at least perfect according to me.
Loathe highly structured environments. I hate being restricted. I hate being boxed in. I hate rigidity of any kind. So much so that I actually sleep naked most of the time because I feel pyjamas restrict my movement in bed. Sounds funny but it’s true. I think this is one of the reasons why I’m not married yet. I’m terrified of having to then conform to this idea of what the perfect wife is supposed to do and feel. I don’t want to feel suffocated. I’ve told God he’s going to have to give me a very open minded husband.
I also can’t stand people who won’t expand their minds and think of new ways of doing things. You know, the “we’ve always done things this way” crew. My mom is always laughing at me because of the way I like to try out new food and see new places and do new things. I’ll try anything once (except ox testicles). I want to experience everything. I hate monotony.
Under Emotions I’m just going to copy and paste a passage from the actual results which I think describes my emotional status better than I can:
“People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren’t the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven’t learned how to control them effectively”.
I think this is why people who are overtly emotional annoy me so much. I like to keep my mind clear and think about things rationally and logically. Emotions are so messy and distracting I think. I remember when my dad died I hardly cried even though I can tell you I was the most devastated person because I was daddy’s little girl. You know how it is in an African setting. When someone, especially a man dies, extended family usually want to see what they can get out of it. This is what was going on in my mind and I made sure I was brave and alert. However, after the funeral and everything, I spend the next YEAR literally crying my eyes out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, mourning my father. Like every day. Even now, ten years later, I can just start bawling. So I don’t think it’s that INTJs are emotionless, I think it’s just that we can separate our emotions from what is going on at the time or maybe hold them off somehow.
Also, about emotions and feelings, I can tell you right now that I am the most loyal person you will ever find. Whether it is as a friend, girlfriend, employee, whatever, I am fiercely loyal and will protect you and your interests at all costs to the very best of my ability…but ONLY in as far as I believe you are worthy of my loyalty. If I don’t, then well, I wouldn’t even piss on you if you were on fire.If you continue to come at me sideways, I can be emotionless and ruthless. It all depends on you and how you treat me first. Also always remember I can usually see through people quite easily.
“INTJs are brilliantly intellectual, developing a world in their heads that is more perfect than reality. People entering this world need to fit this fantasy, and it can be incredibly difficult for INTJs to find someone up to the task. Needless to say, finding a compatible partner is the most significant challenge most INTJs will face in life”. I meeeeeean 💁🏾 This is just me right here! Few things terrify me more than there prospect of ending up stuck to some intellectually inferior man who I can’t have a decent conversation with. For me, my “pickiness” is no even about his looks and physical attributes (although let’s be honest who doesn’t want a man with a hot body hmmm?). I need someone who can stimulate me mentally and intellectually. That is sooo sooo important to me. I love it when I meet a guy who I can talk to about anything. This is why I cannot stand it when I meet a guy and all he ever talks about is “oh you’re so beautiful”. Dude. I know. Tell me something I don’t know! If he’s not talking about my looks then he has nothing else to offer. Can someone say shallow?
I’m actually a very funny person and I need to be with someone who gets my kind of humour. If your IQ is 2 then you certainly will not get it and well, no future there.
“People with the INTJ personality type tend to have more success in developing friendships than they do with romantic relationships, but they none-the-less suffer from many of the same setbacks, substituting rational processes for emotional availability. This intellectual distance tends to go both ways, making INTJs notoriously difficult to read and get to know, and making INTJs not want to bother reading anyone they think isn’t on their level”.
“INTJs will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favour of depth and quality”.
“When they are in their comfort zone though, among people they know and respect, INTJs have no trouble relaxing and enjoying themselves. Their sarcasm and dark humour are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who struggle to read between the lines, but they make for fantastic story-telling among those who can keep up”.
I meeeeeean! This is just me to a T! This is why I don’t have many friends nor do I make friends easily. I have a VERY small circle of friends and I have known them since grade one, form one or at least for the past 10 years.
Speaking of my sense of humour, I usually don’t find the things that a lot of people find funny to be funny at all. I clearly remember when I was a child, most probably around 5 years old, I HATED going to birthday parties especially where clowns were present because I did not find them funny in the least. I just could not understand why the other children were rolling on the floor laughing their lungs out!
“INTJs are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude. Anyone falling short of this will be labeled a bore – anyone meeting these expectations will appreciate them of their own accord, forming a powerful and stimulating friendship that will stand the test of time”. Again, so accurate about me. You will find I am not friends with people I consider to be mediocre. Successful business people, lawyers, female pilots. Those are my friends. Not because I want to be associated with successful people for shallow reasons, but I believe you are the company you keep. Here comes the paradox again. You will find that I’m also likely to be good friends with the janitor, the gardener, a street kid or two. Why? Because I also believe that I can learn something from EVERYONE no matter their social status. To me everyone can bring something to the table. If I click with you, we’re good to go!
IN THE WORKPLACE/CAREERS
At the time I took this test, this is the part that resonated with me the most. I was frustrated with my job and on the verge of quitting. I had various options of other things I wanted to do but being a jack of all trades, I didn’t know where to focus my energy.
“Above all else, INTJs want to be able to tackle intellectually interesting work with minimal outside interference, no more, no less”. I put “minimal outside interference” in bold because I CANNOT stand being pushed, incessantly checked on and people meddling with what I’m doing…in any setting actually not just at work. If it’s at work, you hired me because you believed I was competent. Therefore leave me alone and I will deliver. Zvekufemerwa mugotsi no please. This is definitely one of the things the frustrated me the heck at my previous job.
“INTJs have exceptionally high standards, and if they view a colleague or supervisor as incompetent or ineffective, respect will be lost instantly and permanently. INTJs require and appreciate firm, logical managers who are able to direct efforts with competence, deliver criticism when necessary, and back up those decisions with sound reason. Note that it is INTJs’ expectations of their managers that are being defined here, and not the other way around, as with some other personality types. Titles mean little to INTJs – trust and respect are earned, and INTJs expect this to be a two way street, receiving and delivering advice, criticisms and results. INTJs expect their managers to be intelligent enough and strong enough to be able to handle this paradigm. A silent INTJ conveys a lack of respect better than all their challenges ever will”. I chuckled to myself when I read this again because it confirms why my previous manager and I were like oil and water. I lost respect for that person early on in our acquaintance and being “lead” by someone I had no respect for made me cringe every day. For me, it is VITAL that I respect people in any leadership positions. If it is at work I need to respect my leaders and they also need to respect me. I need a leader who is open to listening to my ideas as well as correcting me where I am wrong. Don’t just tell me I’m wrong and not explain why!
In fact, even in romantic relationships, he needs to earn my respect. I am one of those women who needs a man to be a man. I need him to lead me somehow and I need to learn things from him.
“INTJs tend to prefer to work alone, or at most in small groups, where they can maximize their creativity and focus without repeated interruptions from questioning colleagues and meetings-happy supervisors. For this reason INTJs are unlikely to be found in strictly administrative roles or anything that requires constant dialogue and heavy teamwork. Rather, INTJs prefer more “lone wolf” positions as mechanical or software engineers, lawyers or freelance consultants, only accepting competent leadership that helps in these goals, and rejecting the authority of those who hold them back”. Not much to say here except once again 100% correct. I am currently pursuing my LLB and I cannot begin to tell you how much I’m loving it! Trust me, going down the wrong career path can be detrimental to your health. I am dead serious. The frustration can make you physically ill!
Listen, I can go on and on with this. I have just picked out a few bits and pieces to share with you guys. You can read the full report on my personality type here. I think it is very important to have direction in your life. To know yourself and know what you are capable of and what you want to achieve. Before you know it you will be 80 and wondering WTF you did with your life. When I am 80 I want to have a thoroughly used up brain (I was going to say and body but that would suggest other things) and smile on my face, knowing that I have used my God given talents to the best of my ability. To do this I believe it is vital to know know yourself.
I am really interested to know if anyone else found this personality test as interesting and helpful as I did? Please take it (click here to take the test) and tell me about your experiences in the comments section. Those who are going to take the test please make sure you are brutally honest when answering the questions or else there will be no point in taking it. Don’t answer how you think you’re supposed to answer or how you wish to you would answer. Give honest answers so you get meaningful results.